“I’ll be back for your graduation.” I smiled and nodded after giving my grandmother another hug, not knowing that would be the last time I saw her. When I was around 10 years old and my youngest sibling was born, my maternal grandmother came from Ghana to live with us. We shared a room and I made so many memories with her in the short-time she stayed with us. From watching her dance at family parties and helping her baby sit kids connected to our family to her walking me to school and nursing me back to health when I got pneumonia, my grandmother brought a degree of radiance and warmth to my life in that was unique to her. She met my silliness with kindness, looked at me with awe, and loved me unconditionally. I felt safe with her.

When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I went with her and my mom to doctor visits and brought her bottles of hot water to keep her warm even though I didn’t know exactly what was going on. Then she went home and I thought she was doing better but in reality, her cancer had become terminal after spreading from her breasts to her lungs. She passed away shortly after she left and right before my mom landed in Ghana to see her for her birthday.

My grandma’s passing was my first experience with grief and I didn’t really know how to handle it besides crying and thinking about all the questions I never got to ask her. But even as a little kid, I knew she’d keep her promise to me and be at my graduation. I remember looking out into audience as I gave my 8th grade vice presidential speech and imagining her spirit smiling back at me and beaming with pride. I’ve thought of her every graduation since all the way through my master’s last year.

Even though I started to experience gentle nudges from my maternal grandmother (and later my paternal grandmother who passed when I was in college), it wasn’t until I moved to California and got my own space that I deepened my relationship with them through my ancestral work. After a workshop with one of my teachers, Mariam of I See You Wellness, I slowly gathered my materials to make my first ancestral altar. I got my first tarot deck and oracle deck. I got more crystals. I got a small succulent and some candles and incense. Then I just sat and talked. My altar included a picture of both of my grandmothers and my paternal grandfather and great aunt who had passed away more recently. Even though I didn’t have a deep relationship with any of these people as an adult, I felt deeply connected to them through my work. It wasn’t just the catharsis of having a safe space to fall apart. It was also the every day miracles that started to take shape in my life, often shortly after I asked for help.

In my lowest moments, my ancestors were there guiding me and supporting me so I never truly felt alone. The small things I do know about my grandparents make it clear to me that I’m not here by accident. I knew growing up that my paternal grandfather was an herbalist and my maternal grandfather was a journalist. I also knew that my paternal grandmother was a voodoo practitioner and both of my grandmothers sold goods at markets (hello entrepreneurs!). What I learned later in life was that my maternal grandmother sang gospel and danced in a group that went on tour. These are all things that I was intuitively drawn to from joining the school newspaper in high school to joining a gospel choir in college. I have the confidence and clarity in my work that I do because of the connection I have with my ancestors and the undeniable overlap in my gifts and interests with theirs. Even when I feel uncertain, I know that I come from a lineage of wildly creative and spiritual people that dreamt and prayed me into being.

Typically ancestral work gets brought to the forefront around October when the veil is thinner. However, my ancestors made it clear during a recent healing session that they wanted me to come home so here we are lol.

If you’re interested in exploring your own connection with your ancestors and how that informs your purpose, join me for the “Reclaim Your Relationship with Your Ancestors Workshop” on May 28th 5:30PT/8:30ET. You can register here. I’m also hosting the first Cozy Crafting Office Hour of the Workshop series. In our first office hour session, we’ll be making time to work on archival work realted to our families and ancestors. If you’ve been meaning to do some research on your family history, put a scrapbook together, and more, this will be a cozy space to make time for that work. I’ll also be answering any questions you have from this workshop or any of the previous ones. If you’re interested in office hours, you can join the membership tier for Reclamation Studio here and get access to office hours, discounts to 1:1 sessions, monthly admission into workshops and more.

Thank you so much for reading as always. This was way more vulnerable than I was planning on being but I hope it was helpful. Let me know if you have any questions about the workshop and I hope to see you there 🫶🏾

With gratitude,

Paula